`Pelicanh

Ai...you would normally think that was an acronym for "Artificial Intelligence" and in this case it might be slightly true. The "artificial" part of it stemming from the fact that what seems like intelligence was amplified by my own altered state stupidity.
Easy way to say it is....someone might seem "deep" and "profound" when the truth is you are drunk and dumb. But...relativity aside, I think BOTH can be true.

Last week I had the pleasure of the company of Conan Sorrano =addictedImage - thus the "Ai". If you haven't checked out this man's work - go do it NOW, then read the rest of this drivel. He's a freakin genius. Not to mention he has a HOT girlfriend, Mischa *DarkSyren , who is as sweet and charming and lovable as she is beautiful. I LOVE these people. Also here for a week was the lovely Shy =Shy-Too-Shy

But let me get to the point. Conan Sorrano is probably one of the most twisted people I have ever met. And over the course of his stay here, I kept wanting to remember some of the things he said because I HURT, I laughed so hard. MANY nights were spent out on the patio at Pelican Place with Shy and I in completely bizarre conversation with this man. So, I decided to write down some of the more notable quotes. It would take 27 pages of explanation to contextualize all the quotes and I think it might be more fun for you, the reader, to try and imagine WHAT THE HELL we were talking about or what was happening to bring about these pearls of wisdom.

Conan Sorrano's Quotable Quotes from 7/22/08 - 7/29/08:

1) Calamari is the best kind of fried tube because it looks like a butt hole.
2) Do you get a DUI if you are riding a drunk Camel down the road?
3) I'm gonna grow a REALLY BIG Bonzai Tree and call it ..... a tree.
4) Have you ever noticed that Taco Bell tortillas smell like natural clean penis?
5) There's a fine line between fisting and ventriloquism.... I think you need a ruler.
6) I don't think they should call it Viagra. I think a better name would be "Mycoxadril"
7) The reason there's blue paint on your dick is because you stuck it in a wet painted plastic blue horse head hole.
8) I'm gonna get a heart tattoo on my arm but leave the inside of it blank, so whoever I'm fucking, I can just take a sharpie and fill in the blank.

This, of course, is only the VERY VERY few quotes I could remember (I have a HORRID memory) and only the ones I could make it to the pad to write down...for whatever reason. There were SO MANY other things he said but the set up and explanation would take PAGES of space. Suffice it to say "Thank you, Conan and Mischa for a WONDERFUL week, a chance to watch your brilliance behind the camera, and the opportunity to photograph your lovely girlfriend!"

I am always ever so grateful for my friends. I'm going out to the patio and toast ya, Conan and Mischa! Here's a Heineken.