=Pelicanh

In the story of Camelot, King Arthur is betrayed by Lancelot, his best friend, and Guinevere, his wife. Guinevere and Lancelot have a torrid affair. It seems the two are powerless to stop. They are overwhelmed by their lust and desire and although it is destroying the ideals and structure of King Arthur's Camelot, the couple continue to find ways to see each other.
King Arthur is aware of their affair. In the movie version of Camelot, Arthur is knighting Lancelot and during the ceremony, he sees Lancelot looking at Guinevere. The King walks off the stage and into an adjacent room while the entire court awaits his return.
"What to DO", he asks himself, "If ever there was a man I would want as a brother, a best friend, or a man I would most want to be like, it would be Lancelot. If ever there was a woman I would want as a wife, a lover, and a friend, it would be Guinevere. So...how COULD they resist each other? I can understand their attraction. I SEE THEIR pain. But what to DO!!!"
"Resolved", the King confidently says to himself, "I will be King!"

In my youth, this didn't seem like much of a resolution. I wanted revenge. I wanted the "bad guys" to get caught and punished. I wanted to see some IMMEDIATE consequences to their actions. They should PAY for their deeds of deception.


This has been a really difficult week for me personally. The details are not important but suffice it to say I was betrayed by someone I thought was a friend. It wasn't JUST a lie. She plotted and planned it. Conspired with another girl and carried out the deception to a tee. And of course, I fell for the whole thing hook line and sinker.

Yesterday I drove out to Malibu to take a walk on the beach and relax my spinning head. It was a truly beautiful day. A storm had just passed through the LA area so there were huge waves crashing on the beach and a few daring surfers going for the big ones.
As I walked on the beach I felt more and more calm coming back into my veins. I had walked about a mile when I looked down and saw this. [link] There were many stones of all sizes on the beach but all of a sudden, in this one moment, things fell into place.
This stone had seen the ebbing and flowing of the tides but remained steadfast in it's place. There were obvious trails in the sand left from the washing of turbulent waters over this stone but it remained in it's place. And also in the sand were tracks left from a seagull that had just, moments before, passed by.

SO what was I to DO. I had been horribly betrayed. Blind sided. Not in a million years would I have guessed my "friend" would be capable of allowing someone to do this to me, MUCH LESS, come up with the idea and help her plan it!
Again....so what was I to DO.

I looked down at that stone again.

"I will be King", I said to myself. Now that's just a tad weird to be standing on the beach in Malibu, looking down at a stone in the sand and talking to it. Furthermore, telling it "I will be King" while other people pass by and stare is a bit odd.
But it was there on that beach in Malibu that I was able to let it go. There wasn't anything for me TO DO. It was only mine TO BE. Be who and what I am.
Yes, people WILL betray me, lie to me, deceive me. But it is mine to continue to trust, to believe, and to have faith in humanity.
I will never trust that "friend" again. I won't go blindly or naively through my life allowing people to walk over me but I cannot let the actions of the very few reduce my profound belief in the greater good.

I am sad for the loss of a friend but I am grateful for the lesson from that little stone on the beach in Malibu. Things that washed over the little stone did not effect very much change but rather brought out the stronger aspects of it. So I will be stronger. I will go forward with a much greater resolve to love and trust and give......even in the knowledge that I may be hurt again.
It is not mine to measure what is done with my love and trust. It is only within my power to BE who and what I am and share with those I love the wonders and beauty of life.

I gotta say.....isn't life DELICIOUS!!! I'm so full but still hungry for more!

I'm gonna go sit on my patio and have a Heineken!