TIME FOR MORE FUN!!!!!
Journal Entry:
Sat Nov 24, 2007, 12:44 PM
An Amazing Elephant Story!!!!!!!
In 1986, Mike Mason was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mason approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Mason worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.
Mason stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Mason never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Mason was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mason and his son were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Mason, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mason couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.
Mason summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mason's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly!!!!
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
HA HA HA HA HA....OK DA'ers......tell me YOUR favorite joke!! But keep it fairly short.
I gotta go have a Heineken.
- Listening to: the hum of the G5
- Drinking: Heineken
Devious Comments
The people in the bar look around and someone fetches an old guitar.
The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus's owner pockets the fifty bucks.
Next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks its lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus's owner.
The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back in a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy and his octopus, "Now, if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars."
The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, has another look from another angle. Puzzled, the octopus's owner comes up and says "What are you fooling around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!"
The octopus says "Play it? I'm gunna fuck it f I can figure out how to get its pyjamas off!"
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"People alter their lives by altering their attitudes."
Two attorneys walk into a bar and see a good looking blonde at the end of the bar.
One turns to the other and says, I sure would like to screw her.
To which, the other one replies - oh ya, out of how much?
Enjoy!
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. “Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she says. Little Johnny raises his hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered,” he volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked young Johnny to describe the incident.
“Well,” he began, “I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!
“That must’ve been scary,” said the teacher.
“It sure was!” said Johnny. “My kitty raised his back, went ‘Fffff, Fffff, Fffff’… and before he could say “Fuck”, the Rottweiler ate him!”
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Never shall innocent blood be shed. Yet, the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful, striking hammer of God.
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For once you have tasted flight, you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.
Leonardo DaVinci
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For once you have tasted flight, you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.
Leonardo DaVinci
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so the president says" i run this country, i should get a parachute" grabs one and jumps out of the plain...
the smartest man in the words says "im the smartest man in the worls, i should get 1." grabs one and jumps out of the plane...
so the pope turns to the boy scout and says "you take the last parachute, it would be right for me to do this in gods eyes."
and the boyscout says "you take one to. the smartest man in the world just jumped out of the plane with my backpack."
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QUE SERA SERA
93% of teens have used an illegal substance... copy and paste this in your signature if you like bagels
this summer i learned a very important lesson... peeing IN a pool, and peeing INTO a pool are 2 completly different things.
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For once you have tasted flight, you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.
Leonardo DaVinci
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instead of stressed, i lie here charmed.
_+_
smash apart what you create
~*~
What I really enjoy is Feminist Sex Novels. You know. The ones with the powerful female protagonists who kick tonnes of ass and get laid at least once per chapter? Yea. THOSE
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You can pick ur friends and you can pick ur nose but u cant pick ur friend's nose...Wat a drag
I am worth $2,018,058 on HumanForSale.com
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